Oscar immediately used the opportunity to apologize to girlfriend Reeva's parents, saying he never meant to kill her but was trying to protect her.
He said:"I want to take this opportunity to apologise to Mr and Mrs Steenkamp. There hasn't been a moment since this tragedy happened that I haven't thought about your family "I wake up every morning and you're the first people I think of. The first people I pray for.
I can't imagine the pain and the sorrow and the emptiness that I've caused you and your family. "I was simply trying to protect Reeva. I can promise you that when she went to bed that night she felt loved.
I have tried to put my words on paper many times to write to you but no words would ever suffice.'
He then started to describe his emotional state since the incident and how he has been coping without Reeva.
He said that ever since the incident he wakes up every day smelling blood and he is scared.
He stated that he has been suffering from panic attacks and is now heavily on anti-depressant medicine.
He said: I'm scared to sleep. I can smell blood and wake up terrified.I climbed into a cupboard and I phoned my sister to come and sit by me, which she did for a while. I'm just in a complete state of terror. I fall asleep and wake up like that
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