"My wife of 3 months have never allowed me make love to her"

From a male blog reader:
I just got married last 3 months and my wife have not allowed me touch her for one day even during our wedding night. She said she was raped as a kid and the memories won't let her open her legs for me.
I have been patient and calm with her since I have forever to have her body but something keeps making me wonder.i have caught my wife on several occasions using sex toys and different object to satisfy herself and I keep wondering.I have been mute about the whole situation but it is getting out of hand.
I tried to speak to her about it but she keeps saying am sorry am sorry, why can't I touch the woman I got married to for solid 3 months of marriage, am really getting worried about the situation .
Will it be harsh of me if I give her a mandate for her to open her legs ?
Or give her more time ,
But why will my wife prefer to use an object than make love to me ?
I just need answers .